Mother's Day is often portrayed as a joyful occasion filled with flowers, cards, and family gatherings. For many, it's a day of celebration and gratitude. But the truth is, Mother’s Day doesn’t look the same for everyone. For some, it's a complicated, emotional, or even painful time. There are mothers who are single, teenaged, “advanced maternal” aged, or adoptive; mothers facing prolonged fertility challenges; mothers dealing with the loss of a child due to a miscarriage, stillborn birth, or tragedy; mothers separated from their children or fighting for them in a custody battle; or new mothers experiencing postnatal anxiety or depression. Additionally, if you’ve lost your mother or have a strained relationship, Mother’s Day can be a painful reminder.
A Day of Celebration
For those with close relationships with their mothers or mother figures, Mother’s Day is a cherished opportunity to show love and appreciation. It might involve breakfast in bed, thoughtful gifts, or simply spending quality time together. These traditions bring comfort and connection, strengthening family bonds.
A Day of Remembrance
For others, Mother’s Day can be a poignant reminder of loss. Those who have lost their mothers may find the day heavy with grief, filled with memories both comforting and painful. Some may choose to honour their mother’s memory by visiting a special place, lighting a candle, or sharing stories with loved ones.
A Day of Complex Emotions
Mother's Day can also be challenging for those who have strained, distant, or non-contact relationships with their mothers. Feelings of disappointment, anger, or sadness can surface, making the day emotionally taxing. Similarly, for those who long to become mothers or have experienced pregnancy loss, this day may carry feelings of longing and heartache.
Mixed emotions around Mother’s Day are normal. It can feel like everywhere we look, we’re overwhelmed with images of happy children and mothers. On social media you’ll see a parade of people calling their maternal figures selfless, awe-inspiring, and amazing. Loud, flowery advertisements seem to follow us around everywhere we go.
If you are missing your mother or a child, you are not alone. If you are grieving the fact that you never became a mother or if you are worrying that you may never become a mother, it’s not just you.
Maybe you’re angry because you didn’t have a great relationship with your mother. Maybe you are fed up because you made your own Mother’s Day lunch, or frustrated because — even on Mother’s Day — you did not get to go to the toilet by yourself.
Perhaps you are worrying that you’re a bad mother, or that bad things are going to happen to your child.
You would not be the only one if you are feeling guilty for not doing more (or “enough”) for your children or your own mother.
A Day to Celebrate All Kinds of Mother Figures
It's important to remember that "mothering" isn’t defined by biology alone. Many people are supported by incredible maternal figures — stepmothers, grandmothers, aunts, friends, or mentors — whose love and guidance shape their lives. Taking time to celebrate these influential figures can bring warmth and gratitude to the day.
Finding Your Own Way
However you feel about Mother’s Day, it’s okay to approach it in a way that feels right for you. Whether that means celebrating joyfully, quietly reflecting, or simply giving yourself space to feel whatever emotions arise, there’s no "right" way to mark the day.
If you're finding this time difficult, consider reaching out to a friend, joining a support group, or engaging in self-care. Connecting with others who understand can offer comfort and validation.
Mother’s Day looks different for everyone — and that's okay. What matters most is honouring your feelings and doing what brings you peace.